No bullshit cooking // Mapo Tofu (or that\'s what i think it is) [imprecise edition]

Not gonna lie, that's most likely not an original Mapo Tofu recipe. BUTT who cares?


  • Chicken breast (something-something 800g idk honestly)
  • Tofu (350g)
  • Onion (like 100g)
  • Garlic (2 cloves)
  • "That thing" is ok (cuz i had no gochujang paste) (80-100g is ok for me) OR gochujang paste (30-40ml)
  • Ketchup (15ml)
  • Sugar (10g)
  • Soy Sauce (50ml)
  • Salt, Pepper, Ginger (powdered) to taste
  • Olive oil (50ml)
  • Starch 10g

How to cook

Cut chicken breast in 2-3cm cubes or whatever size you want you're the boss here. And put chicken aside

Cut tofu the same way.

Roughly chop onions and finely mince garlic

Heat pan, add 15ml olive oil, add tofu. Fry for like 40 seconds, add 10ml of "that thing" and fry for 30 seconds more. Put it into a bowl.

In the same pan (just to wash less after), add 10ml oil, and fry onions for 40 seconds, then add garlic and fry for 1 more minute, then put it into the bowl with tofu

Add other 25ml of oil, add chicken, fry till you think it's almost ready or till large pieces easily break

Add tofu and onion/garlic mix to chicken. Add other 70 ml of "that thing", if you feel a little stinging in your eyes, you're doing it right. Mix it. Add 100ml water little by little to deglaze pan.

Add enough water to almost cover chicken. Mix. Add soy sauce by 15ml batches to taste.

Have a breakdown about how you just ruined the only thing you could've made tasty

Add ketchup and sugar if you think you need it

Think of things you forgot. Remember about salt, pepper, ginger, starch. Dissolve starch in 30 ml of water before adding it. Note: you don't have to dissolve salt, pepper and ginger before adding them.

Cook that thing for 15-20 minutes more and it must be ready

Posted at 2020-12-09 08:33:03

<< Newer Older >> Permalink


Made by someone from somewhere on Earth, who has nothing (and sometimes something) to do and who is interested in programming. Design is hard. Like there's nothing better than black text on white background. Gotta keep this site look simple.

Not gonna lie, this site won't be updated frequently, but I most likely will post something if I find interesting thing (or overly complicated solution on stackoverflow) while I code another useless thing for myself.

Why "braindead"? I've been thinking about site title at 3am and my state could be described as "braindead", so i went with it.

And yeah, this site may and will use js for code highlightning and for shit and giggles (like this fancy navbar).

Contacts: braindead@mail.i2p

Built with chota, Flask, Prism, some JavaScript and pain